Fa La La La La

December 8, 2008

Today’s Holidailies Prompt: Describe your holiday decorating techniques.

I wouldn’t say that I have a “technique” when it comes to holiday decorating.  I just put decorations anywhere I can find a place for them.  It goes something like this…

Bring battery-operated candles up from basement.  Test them to see if they still work.  Spend a shitload of money on new batteries.  Replace dead batteries.  Place candles on windowsills (12).

Buy a $6.99 wreath at the supermarket.  Hang it on the front door.

Go to Christmas tree lot and spend too much time in the freezing cold looking for the perfect tree.  Upon returning home, search basement for tree stand.  Rearrange living room furniture to make room for the tree.  Place tree in stand.  Tighten screws, pump foot lever, sweat and swear (a lot) until tree is fairly straight.  Pour water in stand.  Spread tree skirt.  Leave tree alone until daughters comes over to help with the trimming.

Go back down to the basement to search for stockings to be hung by the chimney with care.  In the bag where the stockings were stored, find some other decorations.  Put Nutcracker, snowman, and Santa on the mantel.

Find a spot for the other snowman.

Find more spots for the other items.

Before hanging this decoration, tradition dictates that I must first hide it someplace where Leigh will stumble upon it unexpectedly and freak out.  She has an unnatural fear of this thing. The other night, I hid it under the covers of her bed as a special surprise for when she came home for Rebecca’s birthday.  Heh heh.

Play Christmas CDs.  Bring tree ornaments up from basement.  Spend a few hours untangling the lights.  Test lights.  Pull some hair out of head and then decide to make do with the few strings of lights that still work.  Spend a few more hours winding lights around tree.  Silently curse whoever’s big idea this was in the first place.

Instead of tinsel or garland, we use strings of musical instruments,

with alternating rows of strings of fake cranberries .  Silently curse myself for thinking this was a good idea.

Take an ornament out of the box.  Hang it on the tree.

Repeat until ready to scream.  Finally, place grapevine star on top. (I used to have an angel but it broke and I couldn’t find a suitable replacement.)

Take painkiller.  Call it a day.

Song of the Day:  Deck the Halls


12 Responses to “Fa La La La La”

  1. Stefani said

    Hilarious! (And pretty tree!)

  2. Bex said

    …as opposed to what I do now each year. Nothing. Have a Happy…

  3. Must. Have. Betty Boop!

  4. LA said

    We have instruments on our tree too! Not a garland, just waqcky brass horns and harps and such.

    Your letter is ‘R’. ~LA

  5. fun fun fun the tree is pretty

  6. Jim said

    Ho, Ho, Ho… Merry Christmas!

  7. sasha said

    I love that little Betty Boop ornament, too. This was a funny entry! 🙂

  8. LeAnn said

    I’m like Bex and do nothing. Billy puts together a little something on top of the entertainment center. It’s so cool that you get a real tree every year! I’m enjoying your holidailies. Keep ’em comin!!

  9. terri t. said

    Except for the difference in ornaments and other holiday decor and the live tree and the wreath you bought at the store and the stockings on the mantel and hiding a creepy thing….this is just like what I do!
    We have another week before we make the big roadtrip to the basement and haul up half the contents down there to try to fit them into the living space on the main level. And to think in another few days, we will get to go in reverse and put it all away again for 11-1/2 months…. LOL

  10. Ristak said

    What a great post! Very funny!!

    Happy Holidailies!

  11. I love to hide stuff in my kids’ beds…and my son has hidden rubber snakes in mine. Lots of screams…but hilarious!!!!

  12. Michael said

    Well, now you’ve got me totally in the mood to take my tree out of the box and listen to “Merry Christmas from the Family” by Robert Earl Keen.

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