The Seasons of My Life

April 15, 2008

Ya Ya’s funeral, held in a Greek Orthodox Church, was a very emotional experience. I found the ceremony to be quite moving, especially the swinging of the thurible (incense holder) over the open casket. My heartstrings were really tugged.

Emmy, my old friend from high school, took her grandmother’s death pretty hard, and the grief on her face did me in. It didn’t help that grief for my brother rose to the surface and grabbed me by the throat.

Something else rose to the surface and grabbed me by the throat. I was overwhelmed by memories of Emmy, her brother, mother and Ya Ya. They were like a second family to me, and I loved them dearly.

As I watched the family during the funeral, I was struck by how quickly time passes. Thirty-five years flew by at warp speed.

I studied Emmy’s face, and couldn’t help but notice the effects aging has had on her. Back in high school, Emmy was The Pretty One. At 53, she is still extremely attractive, but she has deep wrinkles around her eyes, and sagging jowls.

When I got home, I took a long, hard look at myself in the mirror, and had to face the fact that I have sagging jowls, too.

So… not only am I mourning the loss of Ya Ya (and my brother), but I am mourning the loss of my youth, as well.

Song of the Day: Landslide by Stevie Nicks

Can the child within my heart rise above
Can I sail through the changing ocean tides
Can I handle the seasons of my life

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8 Responses to “The Seasons of My Life”

  1. The cycle of life is amazing and shocking at times. It is hard to understand how time passes so quickly.

  2. Sasha said

    Stephanie, I am forever forgetting how old you are because you just look so damned good. *sigh* Funerals can dredge up so many memories. 😦

  3. Jeanette said

    A few months ago we were watching some old videos of family birthdays and it was hard to see myself in my 20’s and 30’s. I literally had to stop watching because I was getting depressed!

  4. Pam L said

    I have no idea how I got to be 52. I was just contacted by my college roommate whom I haven’t heard from for 30 years. She is still thin and attractive, only slightly showing her age, and she is 2 years older than I. I, however, am struggling to find photos to send, at her request, that won’t shock her as I am now 30 pounds heavier and looking much too tired. My vanity surprises me. Ugh.

  5. goatbarnwitch said

    Beauty is not only defined through youth or the surface of any human being and although you are a knock out it is the fact that you are so beautiful inside that really matters.

  6. I have been catching a glimpse of that old woman in the mirror lately and I didn’t invite her to my house! Too bad our outsides don’t look the way we feel in our spirits any more.

  7. LeAnn said

    I’m 44 and I have had the jowls for a while. I was 38 when I became a grandmother, and when my son died. Before he died, I was dreading 40 like most folks. Once he died, all that concern about aging somehow disappeared. It really changed me. Time does go by fast though. It’s like pages blowing in the wind. It’s good Ya Ya’s funeral allowed your grief for your brother to surface. There is very little opportunity in every day life for that. Most people don’t want to be bothered with your need to grieve, so you are usually forced to hold all of that inside yourself. BTW, I’m sure you are overly critical of yourself. You are a classic beauty. I have no doubt that you are as beautiful today, as you were when you were 20. Very few women are blessed with that quality, but you are.

  8. Stefani said

    Amazing how our insides don’t match our outsides!

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