The Root of All Evil

January 18, 2008

The Ex is once again reminding me of why he’s The Ex. A few days ago, I received an email from him informing me of a couple of issues related to our daughters.

1. He is discontinuing child support payments for Rebecca because she is now 21 years old.
2. When Leigh’s lease ends in May, she will be living with her father until she leaves for SUNY Delhi in the fall.

For the record – the only reason she is doing that is because he agreed to take her cat. I got stuck with her dog, and will not add a diabetic cat to my list of responsibilities and expenses.

Anyway, The Ex has advised me that he will be eligible for child support from me when Leigh moves in with him.

A while ago, I did some research on child support and emancipation guidelines. I found that :

People frequently agree in their separation agreement that when a child is enrolled in a full time college and is pursuing an undergraduate degree, the age of emancipation is 22 years or the completion of four years of college, whichever comes first.

Rebecca missed being in the high school graduating class of 2004 because her birthday fell five days after the cut off date. This means that she will be older than most students in her graduating class at college, so it would have been helpful to have known about the above item before now. Unfortunately, when the terms of the divorce were agreed upon, my attorney failed to point out to me that it was possible to make a provision for changing the age of emancipation from 21 to 22. Therefore, I have no choice but to agree to 21 being the age of emancipation in this case.

On the other hand, the following condition of emancipation is not debatable:

Residence at a boarding school, camp or college is not an emancipation event.

This is something else I was not previously aware of. It means that I was due child support while Rebecca was away at SUNY Albany. I did not receive that support.

Furthermore, there was a significant amount of time when both girls were living with me. However, because I knew that The Ex was having financial difficulty, I let him make child support payments for only one child. Between that and the support I was supposed to receive while Rebecca was in Albany, we are talking about a sizable chunk of change.

Of course, it is not convenient for him to bear those things in mind at present.

As far as I’m concerned, he can deduct child support for Leigh from what he owes me.

Song of the Day: Money  by Pink Floyd

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9 Responses to “The Root of All Evil”

  1. I am so sorry that this is being dumped on you amid all the other things you have going on in your life. I was so lucky that my ex, once the courts ordered him to at least, never made any problems with child support, it was everything else moneywise that he skimped on. My oldest daughter’s support stopped when she graduated high school because she was living then with my mother since I was an hour away and she had to work. (I had been giving her portion of the support check to my mom up till then and continued to give her money after it stopped) He did apply to have support stopped when we moved here to Texas since Katie stayed with him in NJ. I was going to contact them anyway, but he did it as soon as he knew she was going to stay with him. He’d even given me extra money each week without an order when my son was staying with us during the week and with him on weekends. The ex was a jerk…but at least we never really fought over the support. I hope this works out for you without another court battle that you do not need. {{{hugs}}}

  2. LisaL said

    Such a pain, Stephanie, but good for you for doing research. I need to do that, too. My ex has been pressuring me to “give up” child support since my son started college last fall, but so far, I’ve played deaf. Stand your ground!

  3. Sounds like he does owe you money so I hope he realizes that. Hope it works out for you.

  4. Jeanette said

    I hope you can work everything out without too much grief. Money (or lack of) definitely is the root of all evil.

  5. goatbarnwitch said

    I guess they always have an element of asshole in them, huh? I hope you can work this mess out.

  6. sasha said

    It always seems so unfair. Julia got to decide she just didnt have to pay anything and she didnt bat an eyelash but god forbid if Travis should have done the same. Some people. Stand your ground, Stephanie!

  7. Diane said

    Make him work for it with lawyers and all and then dump the bad news on him. What a jerk face!

  8. Jim said

    Does it say in writing that whoever does not have physical custody has to pay support to whever does? He isn’t eligible for anything unless it was agreed to in writing. In any case, as you indicated, you can just tell him to deduct if from what he owes you (as if you would ever see any of that money anyway).

    When my eldest got to be thirteen he decided that he wanted to live with me and his mother agreed. I was so delighted that it never occured to me to ask his mother for support! (Your ex is a jerk…
    but I guess you already knew that.) Of course when he went to college she paid for his textbooks which was very nice of her since I was paying tuition and room & board and was feeling a bit of a pinch.

  9. LeAnn said

    Does he have a court order for you to pay child support? If he doesn’t, he will have to get one or you will not be legally obligated to pay him. If he actually does file papers, it won’t necessarily be the same amount he has been ordered to pay you, if it’s even granted. It will be based on both of your incomes. Chances are he won’t go to all that trouble and you can simply help your daughter financially as you deem appropriate. Goodness!!! Maybe it would be less trouble for you if you just agree to take care of the cat!!! Hmmm.

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