Thanksgiving 2006 Revisited

November 22, 2007

Last year, I had to “celebrate” Thanksgiving only eight days after my brother’s body was recovered from the river. In spite of my overwhelming grief, I was able to come up with a list of things to be grateful for. This has been a tough year for me, and I don’t have much to add, so I’m just going to re-post last year’s D-Land entry.

Giving Thanks (23 November 2006 – 7:14 a.m.)

I’ve been filled with such anguish, I couldn’t imagine what there was to feel thankful for at a time like this. Yesterday, I didn’t even bother to wash my face or brush my teeth, let alone get showered and dressed. I spent the day crying and “sweeping up the heart” (a line from a poem).

Fortunately, my sister, Michele, is having Thanksgiving at her house, so that will force me to rejoin the land of the living. And today I realize that I DO have much to be thankful for.

I am thankful for my husband, Daniel. He has been wonderfully supportive. This burden would be unbearable without his compassion and understanding.

I am thankful for the comfort I have received from my daughters. There have been times when they held me up both literally and figuratively.

I am thankful for the generous outpouring of love and support I have received from the online community, as well as family, friends, and co-workers.

I am thankful that Mark’s body was found, and I am thankful to the man who found him. He was off-duty at the time, but wouldn’t give up his search.

I am thankful that Mark was blessed with good friends.

I am thankful for the overwhelming turnout at the calling hours. I am thankful that Mark was held in such high esteem by those who knew him.

I am thankful that my mother came to her senses, and apologized to her daughters, telling us we were right, and she was wrong. I am grateful to my cousin, who advised my mother to “get out of God’s way,” and let the rest of us do what needed to be done. Those words made an impression on her. I’m thankful that SOMETHING finally did.

I am thankful for my siblings. Frank acted as liaison with our mother when her daughters couldn’t deal with her any more. Michael was a tower of strength. He stood for six hours at the wake, and greeted every person in the line. Patti is the voice of reason and logic, and she helped me to make sense out of things. She was also a source of legal information. Michele is practical and nurturing. She hosted family gatherings, and fed people. I leaned heavily on my sisters for support, and they were always there for me. They still are. I couldn’t have gotten through this devastating ordeal without my beloved brothers and sisters.

Most of all, I am thankful for the thirty-nine years I had with Mark. I am thankful that I had him for a brother, and that my daughters had him for an uncle. He was a special child, and a special man.

“Book of Mark”

This last photo of me with Mike and Mark is from Patti’s collection, and I am thankful that she is letting me keep it.  (That’s Mark kissing me.)

Happy Thanksgiving.

Song of the Day: My Thanksgiving by Don Henley

I’ve got great expectations
I’ve got family and friends
I’ve got satisfying work
I’ve got a back that bends
For every breath, for every day of living
This is my thanksgiving

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9 Responses to “Thanksgiving 2006 Revisited”

  1. hil said

    Thankyou for sharing this entry again. It is a beautiful tribute. Happy Thanksgiving. xoxoxo, Hil

  2. catsoul said

    I hope that this year your memories bring you a little peace. Thank you for sharing with us about Mark again. He is so loved by you and your family. Take care. =^..^=

  3. goatbarnwitch said

    Have a wonderful day with good memories of Mark {{hug}}

  4. Joan said

    Again, what a beautiful tribute to your brother. I hope this Thanksgving brings you peace.

  5. kitchenlogic said

    Special hugs from me to you today.

  6. Hulda said

    Happy gobble gobble day!

  7. LA said

    Love you too! So very much and you are one of the people I am so very grateful for. ~LA

  8. A lovely tribute indeed. Holidays just suck when we know that in a perfect world, we would still be sharing them with our beloved brothers. Hugs to you. I hope you have a good day………hopefully, your Ex will keep you ‘distracted’! Heh. Happy Thanksgiving, Steph!

  9. Roads said

    Anniversaries are desperately hard, and festive occasions suck, too, when someone you love is missing.

    Nothing’s going to change that.

    But the first time you face these occasions is the hardest. And even if mext time won’t necessarily be much easier, at least you’ll know what fears they hold.

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