My Mind is on the Blink

September 22, 2007

Whew, what a week. The worst of it was having to go back Wednesday evening for Open House. I hate these parent nights because I have absolutely nothing to do. I sat in the library from 6:30 to 9:00. During that time, ONE parent dropped by, and that visit only lasted for a few minutes.

It was a brutal evening, and I’ve been paying for it ever since. The pain has been so bad I can barely speak because it takes too much energy – energy I have to conserve in order to try to cope with the pain.

Oh well, at least Open House is over with for this year. (If only I could say the same for the pain…) However, I get to repeat the experience twice in November. And then another two evenings in February. Oh joy.

I can’t believe the last doctor I saw (not the Worker’s Comp doc – I’m referring to one of my treating physicians) suggested that going back to work would be good for me. It has proved to be the opposite. Not only do I have to deal with a substantial increase in pain and fatigue, but the stress factor has to be taken into consideration, as well. That school is a madhouse.

I returned to find that the computer lab had been moved to another room. It is not yet ready for students (and the two air conditioners that were purchased for the lab are still in boxes on the floor, the same place they’ve been since June, according to my co-workers), so I’ve been assigned to the library. Yesterday afternoon, the librarian had a meeting with the new principal, and it appears that the library and computer lab are in for some major policy changes, none of which will have a positive effect on our morale, not to mention my physical and emotional health.

Another thing that is weighing heavily on my mind is the health of My Friend. She was admitted to the hospital on Wednesday because a gallstone was blocking her bile duct. An unsuccessful attempt was made Thursday to dislodge the stone. When I spoke to her yesterday morning, she said the surgeon was going to try again laparoscopically, but if that didn’t work, they would have to cut her open, which would mean that the recovery period would be a lot longer, and quite a bit more painful. As it turns out, the latter procedure did have to be performed.

My Friend is so depressed, she told me she now understands why people commit suicide. She said, “If I had a gun, I would shoot myself.” Hearing that broke my heart. My Friend is one of the most upbeat people I’ve ever known, and it is very unlike her to talk like that.

The main reason she is so down is because she lives alone, and because she had major abdominal surgery, she will need help at home. She does have a son, but he lives in Virginia (and flies a Sea Dragon helicopter for the US Navy). Most of the time, My Friend doesn’t give much thought to her living arrangements, but yesterday morning she said that her current situation has made her realize just how alone she is.

After I got off the phone with My Friend, I called a florist and ordered a floral arrangement. I could not believe my eyes when I got home from work and found the flowers on my back porch, with MY name and address on the envelope. I called the florist, and, after apologizing profusely for the error, she sent someone over to pick up the arrangement and deliver it to My Friend in the hospital. I do have to say that it is a gorgeous arrangement, in My Friend’s favorite colors. I hope the flowers cheer her up a bit.

I wish today could be a day of recovery and relaxation, but I have a dental appointment for root planing and scaling this morning. After that, I want to visit My Friend in the hospital. If hospitals were more restful places, I’d almost wish I could join her there, but, after my last experience, I know better.

Boy, this sure has been a hodgepodge entry. The disjointedness pretty much reflects the state of my mind.

Song of the Day: I’m So Tired by The Beatles


10 Responses to “My Mind is on the Blink”

  1. Sending hugs for you and your friend.

  2. Jim said

    Yes, ditto to what Mary said.

  3. LeAnn said

    I don’t think most docs care or try to figure out what’s wrong with their patients. It doesn’t sound like they have done their job with you at all!! It’s horrible you have to go to work feeling that bad. I hope your friend has a speedy recovery.

  4. I wish there was a way for you to not have to work.They should give you more time off.
    I hope your friend gets better, being alone when you are sick is awful. I am glad she has you as a friend to cheer her up.

  5. Bex said

    Best wishes and prayers for you AND YourFriend. Life can be very confusing and questionable sometimes.

  6. LA said

    Poor E!!! (I’m assuming.) The too wiped out thing is completely understood, as you no doubt can see by my staying off the damn phone and giving you some quiet.

    That jerk doc probably thought going back to work would take you mind off it. As everyone knows women DO NOT ever have actual pain, we just have hysteric megrims that can always be fixed by adding some chores and giving our ‘long suffering’ men extra blowjobs.

    Love you muchly, ~LA

  7. Heather has suffered the “all in your head” doctors philosophy for years.

    Wouldn’t it be nice if a person could file for recompense for the pain and suffering incurred due to a misdiagnosis or one not made ?

    Our sympathy and hopes that the stress of work is alleviated.

  8. Holly said

    {{hugs}} I hope things get better for your friend. I hate the way some people minimize other people’s pain. Pain is different for everyone. What some might view as moderate, is excruiating for others, and rarely all in one’s head. If it hurts, there is a reason. Sending some good vibes your way.

  9. goatbarnwitch said

    Sucktastic all the way around for both you and your friend. I hope things are going better for both of you soon. Sounds like a hit on the braniac doc who thinks you going back to work is good would be very theraputic. I’m just saying.

  10. Joan J. said

    I’m so sorry for you and your friend! {{hugs for both of you}} If you went back to your doctor and told her that you are in this much pain, would he let you take off from work again? Just to mention, I know several people who are receiving Social Security Disability because of injuries. Is this an option for you? I also remember those Back to School nights, although when I worked in the library, I didn’t have to attend, but once I became the principal’s secretary it was a must. They were BORING!

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